Overwhelmingly Stressful

Overwhelmingly Stressful

I'm not an emo person by nature, nor am I one to fake emoness to get sympathy. To be frank, I hate sympathy. I don't need sympathy. I don't need someone to be nice to me just because they think I have problems. Why can't they be nice to me normally? Why must I tell others about my problems before they start caring? It's not that difficult to notice that things are wrong with someone you see all the time...it's difficult though, to do something about it.

During HSC times, there's four types of people. Type A are the really capable students who can manage everything well. Lucky them. But they deserve it for working so hard. Type B are the ones who gives up on HSC. Lucky them too...they don't stress. Unless they have traditional asian parents.

The unlucky ones are of course....type C and D. Type C are the ones who want to do well but can't. Whether it's due to stress or other factors. I reckon I fall into that category. Type D are the ones who don't care about HSC but are forced to keep going because of parents...or other factors.

Now, with Type C...there are three sub categories. Category 1 are the ones who break down for real and get depressed or sick...

Category 2 are the ones who pretend to be sick so they can study more and catch up with the work. I'm category 3, that is, I do break down...except only when I'm alone.

Reason? Well...the first reason I've already stated above. I don't like sympathy...although sometimes its good when I really don't feel well. I have this thing...where I want people to understand me without me telling them to. That makes things really complicated because most people will just think I fall into Category 2...since I'm absent from school all the time. Chances are...even my parents don't know there's something wrong with me.

That's because there isn't...sometimes. I don't know what I'm saying. Sometimes, when I forget about the stressful things, I'm really happy...but then when I'm alone, I become depressed...increasingly so during these couple of weeks.

Last night while I was doing my body of work for art, I was so...unhappy. That's an understatement but let's not go there. I'm sure everyone was just as unhappy.

I know heaps of people probably have it worse but I just want people to know that there's ALOT wrong with my life and though they may not seem a big deal by itself...it is...when everything gets added together. It's probably...ten years worth of stress and unhappiness. I didn't even know I was unhappy until this year.

SO please please please...don't judge when you don't know anything. Maybe I have a feeble brain...I don't know...but I can't deal with everything as I am now.

Goodbye.

So long, and thanks, for all the fish.

PS: That was a joke/quote from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...you know, just to prove that I'm still happy...and I'm NOT gonna cut myself or anything!