Being one of the female species can be such a painful thing. Think about all the blood (every month) and sweat (from labor) we put into giving birth just because biology says we have to. But it's an inevitable thing that we can do little about.
But what about the things that we do to perfect ourselves despite it not being necessary at all? What about all the things we put ourselves through to get shinier hair, to be at the perfect weight, to have clearer skin...
Seriously. Some would call us masochists.
So to pay homage to all the masochistic women in the world who enjoy the pain of beauty, here's a quick post of some of my personal beauty woes...
Woes of Windy Days
One of my biggest peeves is getting my hair ruined by the wind. Now, if life was a movie (or a commercial), no amount of wind can sabotage my hair-do and even if it does, I'll end up with a sexy, tousled bed-hair look reminiscent of Victoria Secret models. But the sad reality is, life is a bitch.
For every outing/party I attend, I always spend at least an hour or so on my hair (washing and blowdrying included) and every single time, my efforts are ruined by some freak wind. Even on a completely windless day, as soon as I step out of my house, the universe decides to give me a hard time by creating some form of air movement.
Times like that makes me wish I had shorter hair. Or perhaps I could get myself one of those hamster bubble/ball things to protect myself from the elements whilst still maintaining mobility. Those hamsters are smarter than they look.
Woes of Heel Blisters
I've had, hands down, at least a hundred blisters in my life so far, most of them on my heels and some on my ankles. They hurt so much I sometimes wonder why I do this to myself. I'm sure most girls will know what I'm talking about. As pretty and as self-esteem-boosting high heels can be, they give especially bad blisters. Beauty is pain but wow, is this worth it?!
I dread the days when I have to go out the next day because putting shoes on a blistered foot is the worst thing in the world. I can almost hear my feet screaming in agony.
Kill me now so I won't have to endure it.
Blisters happen so much to me, I can't even think of a spot on my foot that has not yet spawned a blister. Maybe I just have weirdly shaped feet...
Hmm...never thought about it like that before.
Woes of Eye Make-up
Mascara smudge on nose, runny eye liner, the painful experience of curling lashes...
My worst make-up nightmare would have to be looking into a mirror after going out and seeing a pair of panda-eyes NOT from eye-bags (although I have this problem too) but from the runny eyeliner on my lower lash line. Some of these "smudges" get so big I'm confused as to how it was created in the first place.
I don't use much eyeliner on my lower lash line (just a quick brush)...so there's not enough product on my lower lash line to produce such a GIANT smudge! I always get depressed thinking how I've been running around the city with my eyes looking like this. I wish friends would just tell me that my eyeliner's running!
Next is the stupid mascara smudges you get on your nose bridge. That moment when the long stick part of the mascara brushes against the skin of your nose leaving a black smudge. It happens particularly often when you're doing your lower lashes (but sometimes upper too). I suppose the more experienced you are, the less likely it's going to happen but sometimes even veterans make mistakes.
The thing about mascara is that it's usually the last/second last/last-ish thing that you do. It's usually applied after the application of foundation making "removal" a @$!&# to do. A mascara smudge on the nose means that the product has gotten on top of the foundation layer.
They are even harder to remove than eye-liner smudges and removal of said smudge will lead to the removal of the foundation underneath it. There's no two ways about it.
You'll have to reapply the foundation after removing that smudge patch...and more often that not that particular re-applied patch will look different from the rest of your skin. Bottom line is...ARGHHHH RAGE QUIT LIFE.
PS: I am so glad that I don't use waterproof mascara...because that's a whole new level of WTF I don't want to have to deal with.
AND...
Last but certainly not least, the pain of curling eyelashes with that clippy thing. Yes, that thing. It took me at least 3 years to perfect the art of near-painless-eyelash-curling (to be fair I rarely use an eyelash-curler). Even so, every now and then it would catch a bit of my eyelid in it's jaws and cause me unspeakable pain.
I think to myself...who on earth invented this item? Who would do this to themself?
After consulting Wikipedia, I found that, ironically, this contraption was invented BY A MAN.
This explains everything doesn't it. They invented this, knowing they won't have to use it. For many years to come, they can watch women suffer though gruelling sessions of eyelid pain whilst enjoying a relatively eyelid-pain-free life.
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"Looks like something used by Tinkerbell's gynecologist"
- Amy Farrah Fowler (Big Bang Theory) |
I have so much more to rant about but I think this is enough for now.
